


Five Things Kaijou Ruined

by fantaestic



Series: Five Things They Ruined [1]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-11 13:20:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1173535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantaestic/pseuds/fantaestic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Kaijou team was full of idiots. It was a team full of idiots that made life so much harder for everyone else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Thing They Ruined

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on FF.net
> 
> This is the first in the series, the second part is Shutoku's which will then be followed by Kirisaki Daiichi's and Touou's stories.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kise just wanted to show off his newly discovered eyebrow waxing skill.

* * *

**i. Hayakawa's eyebrows**

* * *

When Hayakawa came to practice that day, he wasn't expecting to somehow be coerced into getting his eyebrows waxed by Kise. Hayakawa knew he had bushy eyebrows, but he liked them that way and didn't plan on changing them anytime soon. Apparently, his model teammate had a different plan for 'the caterpillars on his face' (Kise's words, not his).

Kise had assured him that he was skilled in eyebrow waxing. He said that he had watched his own stylist do it many times before and by using his Copy ability, he was sure that he could imitate it perfectly. He had promised that nothing would go wrong and that it'll end up looking perfect.

Hayakawa wasn't Kise's first selected victim. He had asked the others first but Kasamatsu had blatantly refused and Moriyama and Kobori ran away as soon as Kise came near them with that stupid grin on his face. Hayakawa ended up agreeing to be the younger male's guinea pig, if only to get him to shut up. He thought that maybe he  _would_  look better without the bushy eyebrows. And besides, Kise  _did_  have his Copy ability. Nothing could go wrong.

Apparently, Kise's ability could only do so much.

That much was evident when Kise suddenly yelled out 'shit' as soon as he pulled the first waxing strip off. Hayakawa immediately knew that something went terribly wrong. Even if Kise hadn't yelled out, the looks on the other three's faces were enough to confirm that Kise had somehow messed up. He was even more convinced that something bad happened when Kise ran away and locked himself in the bathroom and Moriyama busted out laughing.

One look in the mirror was enough to know he should've never trusted Kise.

While Hayakawa banged on the bathroom door, yelling obscenities aimed towards the petrified small forward inside, the other three took it upon themselves to discuss what they were supposed to do now about the fact that Hayakawa only had one eyebrow.

"It's Kise's fault," Kasamatsu said, rubbing his temples. He wondered if he should let Hayakawa know where the spare key was. If they were lucky, Hayakawa would kill Kise and then everyone would be better off. "Let him deal with it."

"Maybe he should just wax the other side off," Moriyama suggested, laughing at the power forward's expense. "It'll look better than it does now."

Moriyama was still laughing when Hayakawa came back into the room. He was unsuccessful in getting Kise out of the bathroom. "Just you wait. One more comment and I'll make sure your eyebrows won't be on your face when you wake up tomorrow morning!" he threatened.

Moriyama visibly shuddered and scooted closer to Kasamatsu, as if the smaller man was going to be able to provide him protection. Kasamatsu made a face and scooted away.

"What am I going to do?" Hayakawa asked. His hand was feeling the area of where his left eyebrow was supposed to be, but all he felt was skin. "I can't only have one eyebrow!" He looked absolutely terrified at the prospect of walking around with only a single eyebrow. "I'll look like a fool!"

"Not like you already don't," Moriyama muttered. He shut up when Hayakawa gave him a glare. Moriyama quickly changed the subject. "Is Kise in the bathroom still? Someone should go get him."

"I'll do it," Kobori offered. He walked over to the desk in the corner of the room and opened one of the drawers, grabbing a set of keys. Kobori then walked towards the bathroom.

Moments later, the three remaining in the room heard the sound of a door being forced open and Kise's high pitch screaming and his resistance to leaving the bathroom. Kobori said something to him, but the others couldn't hear clearly since the third year spoke so softly.

"But Kobori-senpai," was the loud whine heard afterwards.

No one knew what Kobori said next, but a few seconds later a scared looking Kise emerged from the bathroom with a satisfied Kobori walking behind him.

Kise made sure to sit as far away from Hayakawa as possible, which meant sitting next to the captain. As soon as he sat down, he clung onto Kasamatsu's arm for dear life, as if he was afraid that at any moment Hayakawa could attack him. And going by the scary look on the power forward's face, that was definitely a possibility.

Kasamatsu sighed when he realized he was stuck in between two idiots.

"We have a game in a week. If I show up without an eyebrow, I'll be laughed off the court." Hayakawa looked directly at Kise with a menacing look. "This is your fault! You better fix it!"

"It's not all my fault!" Kise stubbornly defended his honor. "Kasamatsu-senpai should've stopped me!" he cried indignantly. It was as if he actually believed it wasn't his fault.

The Kaijou captain pulled his arm away from Kise's strong grip and smacked him in the head. "What do you mean this is my fault?" he asked loudly. "You're the one that decided you were good at eyebrow waxing!" He hit him once more for good measure.

While Kise rubbed his head and complained about getting a concussion one of these days, Hayakawa rolled his eyes angrily. On any other day, he would've laughed at Kise getting a beating, but now he was just impatient. "It's everyone's fault, now can we move on and figure out how to fix it?"

The Kaijou regulars mumbled about their innocence, but no one argued. Not one of them wanted to deal with Hayakawa's temper, and it was better to just agree with him than fight him.

Kise looked at Hayakawa with an apologetic look. Most people cracked when they saw those big golden eyes and pouty lips, even Kasamatsu did sometimes, but Hayakawa didn't even budge. "I'm really sorry, senpai," he said, pouting even more.

Hayakawa's single eyebrow twitched, showing his resolve breaking a little, but other than that, he stayed angry and silent.

Suddenly, Kise stood up, a bright look on his face. He reached for his phone and started dialing before he even began to speak. "I know exactly how to fix this!" He lifted the phone up to his ear, and as it rang he explained. "My stylist deals with problems like this all the time. There's this special eyebrow pencil used for filling in eyebrows and I'm sure if my stylist tells me how to do it I can fix it for you and-"

"No," Hayakawa interrupted, a panicked look on his face. "Tell her to come here. I'm not letting you anywhere near me!"

An hour later, Kise's stylist came and went and Hayakawa suddenly had two eyebrows again, sort of. The woman did her best, but the drawn in eyebrow didn't look nearly as bushy as Hayakawa's real one, and if you looked up close, the whole thing looked ridiculous. However, if you were far enough away and closed one eye and squinted, Hayakawa's eyebrows looked kind of normal.

Hayakawa wasn't happy with it, but it was better than going around with only one eyebrow. He'd deal with a stupid looking fake one until the hair grew back in, which could take weeks he was told, something he wasn't happy about.

The following week, Hayakawa dealt with all kinds of teasing, most of it coming from his own teammates. No matter how many times Kasamatsu ordered them to all shut up, Moriyama would round up a bunch of first and seconds years to go and taunt him. And no matter how many times Hayakawa threatened to wax off both of Moriyama's eyebrows, the older male continued to make fun of him every chance he got.

The day of the game was something Hayakawa wasn't looking forward to, which was unusual. Normally, the second year would go  _on and on_  about the game and about how many rebounds he was going to get. But no one heard a single peep come out of his mouth about this game. It was strange and made the others a little uncomfortable to see their power forward so unexcited.

It was eerily quiet in the locker room as the boys changed and got ready to play. Without Hayakawa's excessive talking, the Kaijou team didn't know what to say. Moriyama didn't even make fun of Hayakawa's eyebrows, which while he was glad for, he kind of wished Moriyama would say something just so it wouldn't be so silent.

"Let's go out there and destroy them," Kasamatsu finally said. He didn't look any bothered by the fact that the others had been so quiet. In fact, he actually looked a little relieved.

The others shouted in agreement and started to get pumped up. They were going to win. They were Kaijou. They were winners.

And win they did.

But it wasn't the ace they had to thank, or the captain, for that matter. No, the win was all thanks to Hayakawa and his interesting new look. Their opponents were so distracted by Hayakawa's ridiculous eyebrows that they couldn't play properly and Kaijou quickly took control of the game.

So really, they should thank  _Kise_ , after all,  _he_  was the one that botched up Hayakawa's eyebrows. Or at least, that's what he tried to tell people.

"You conceited little brat!" Kasamatsu yelled after hearing Kise explain that the win was really all thanks to his eyebrow waxing skills. Kasamatsu kicked Kise, twice.

Once for himself.

And the second time for Hayakawa's lonely eyebrow.


	2. The Second Thing They Ruined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because Moriyama was an overly physical bastard with a weak immune system.

* * *

**ii. Kobori's perfect attendance record**

* * *

Kobori was an exemplary student. He received straight A's, was an extraordinary athlete, and had perfect attendance. He had never missed a single day of school in his life. This little known fact wasn't that surprising seeing as how the Kaijou center was extremely dedicated in whatever it was he did. School, obviously, was one of those things he put his all into.

Kobori was  _this_  close to graduating without having missed a single school day. He had never worried about his attendance much before. It was a given that Kobori would be in his seat at the start of school every single day, there was no doubt about it.

But then Moriyama happened and all of a sudden, Kobori had to be extra careful.

You see, all throughout elementary and middle school, Kobori was never sick. His teachers didn't even have to see him to know that he'd be in seat every day. He was always cautious to stay healthy, but even during flu season and during time periods in which viruses violently transferred from one of his classmates to another, Kobori never showed even an inkling of being sick. It was weird, but he and everyone else had just shrugged it off as him having an extra strong immune system.

But then he arrived at Kaijou High School and met his worst nightmare: Moriyama Yoshitaka.

Moriyama had an odd habit of touching people. He seemed to always have his arm strung around someone's neck or hands wrapped around someone's waist. No matter how many people told him to stop and how many times he tried to restrain himself, his hands would end up finding it's place on someone else's body. It was one of the many odd quirks of Moriyama. And as if being too physical wasn't enough, Moriyama also had a weak immune system. The bastard was sick every other week.

The first time Kobori met Moriyama was on his first day at Kaijou. Moriyama sat in the seat next to him and was always trying to start a conversation with him. Even though it was the first day of school and the weather outside was still warm, Moriyama had a runny nose and would use his sleeve as a tissue. Kobori almost recoiled in horror when not even a minute later, Moriyama casually swung the same arm he had just used to wipe his nose around Kobori's shoulders.

Aside from being an overly physical sick person, Moriyama liked to play basketball too. Kobori was a little less than happy when he found this fact out. It only meant that for the next three years, Kobori would be forced to spend hours every day with someone who was always ill.

Knowing that there was nothing he could do about it, Kobori just took extra care of himself before, during, and after practice. The other members of the Kaijou basketball club always asked him why he was constantly washing his hands, but he'd only look over at Moriyama in response. They soon understood and stopped asking.

One day, Kobori finally figured out the reason why the shooting guard was always sick (or at least one of the reasons why).

It was lunch time and they were walking towards the cafeteria together. They being him, Moriyama, and Kasamatsu, another member of the basketball club. Kobori and Kasamatsu took a detour into the bathroom to wash their hands before they ate, but Moriyama for some reason didn't follow them.

They found Moriyama again in the cafeteria. He was already sitting at their usual table with three trays in front of him, one for himself and the other two for Kobori and Kasamatsu.

"Did you already wash your hands?" Kobori asked, looking warily at Moriyama, who was stuffing food into his mouth. He then looked down at his own food that Moriyama most likely touched.

"No," he replied through a mouthful of food. "I never wash my hands."

Kobori didn't eat that day.

Kobori never realized how unhygienic Moriyama was before that day. He made sure to always nag the other to stay clean from then on.

Things like that continued for three years. Moriyama stayed unclean and was constantly sick throughout their high school careers. Kobori made sure to avoid Moriyama whenever the other even so much as coughed. Somehow, Kobori managed to narrowly avoid being contaminated by Moriyama, even though they were in the same class every single year and were constantly with each other because of basketball.

It was another day at Kaijou. Now, Kobori, Moriyama, and Kasamatsu were all third years and were going to be graduating soon. Like usual, Moriyama wasn't at school, most likely at home with the stomach bug or another fever again. During a short break between classes, Kobori made his way over to Kasamatsu's desk.

"Where's Moriyama?" he asked, sitting down in the seat next to Kasamatsu. Though Kobori already knew the answer, he wanted to know what illness Moriyama was down with this time. If he was lucky, it would be something that would get Moriyama out of school for a few days.

"At home sick, where else?" The Kaijou captain said this with a roll of his eyes. He was starting to get tired of Moriyama being absent all the time. "He seriously needs to start taking better of himself. When he comes back, I'll make him run for all of the practice he's missed."

Kobori laughed. Kasamatsu always said that, but he never followed through with it. "What does he have this time?"

The point guard shrugged. "Cold, I think, or something like that," he said with a bored tone. "I was with him yesterday and he was sneezing all over the place."

"At least he's at home and not here spreading his germs everywhere," Kobori said with a chuckle. Though he valued his teammate very much, he often wished that the shooting guard would stay home more often. "I remember when he had the stomach bug and passed it to nearly everyone on the team."

Kasamatsu nodded. "Yeah, that was awful. I don't know how you didn't get it." He gave Kobori a look. "If I remember correctly, I'm pretty sure you were the only one out of all of us that didn't get it eventually."

"They say I've got a strong immune system. Nothing can get me sick." Kobori said with a grin. He leaned his elbows onto his knees and rested his head in his hands. He looked at the shorter boy with an amused smile. "Besides, if  _I_  remember correctly, the only reason Moriyama didn't go home was because you threatened to make him run twice as much if he was absent one more time."

Kasamatsu rolled his eyes again, but since he knew it was true, he didn't refute it. "Anyway, I'm sure that he-"

A sudden sneeze interrupted Kasamatsu's sentence. Kobori leaned back and looked at his captain with a disgusted face. He looked extremely grossed out. Waving away whatever germs were still floating in the air (though he knew it wouldn't do anything, it made him feel better), he gave Kasamatsu a pointed look. "You need to lean away when you sneeze. It's common courtesy not to sneeze onto people."

"Sorry about that," he said. He wiped his nose with his hand, ignoring the fact that Kobori was giving him a disapproving look. "Man," he muttered, "if Moriyama gets me sick again I'm going to kill him." Kasamatsu looked back up at Kobori and said, "But hey, you don't have to worry about getting sick, right? They do say you've got a strong immune system."

If Kobori didn't know any better, he would've sworn Kasamatsu was teasing him. But this was the  _captain_ , and Kasamatsu didn't do juvenile things like teasing. So, Kobori just laughed nervously in reply.

The next morning, Kobori woke up with a pounding headache, a stuffy nose, and an achy body. No matter how much he begged and whined and bargained, his mother would not let him attend school, claiming that she could never let her baby to go to school while sick.

In class, Moriyama, who was no longer sick and had finally returned, asked Kasamatsu where Kobori was. The captain, with a shrug, only replied with, "Probably sick, or something."

"I knew his strong immune system was bound to fail him one day," Moriyama said with a laugh. Neither of them seemed to feel guilty about being the reason Kobori got sick in the first place.

For the first time in 12 years, Kobori's seat was empty. 


	3. The Third Thing They Ruined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damn Kise and his attractiveness.

* * *

**iii. Moriyama's chances of getting a girl**

* * *

There was a reason why Moriyama's nickname among the basketball team was Pitiful Handsome Guy. Everyone knew the shooting guard was attractive, it was just, the way he presented himself that had the girls running away in the opposite direction. He was flirty, sure, but not in a cute way. Moriyama's definition of romantic was being overly cheesy, which made most people cringe and walk away.

That day was no different. As soon as Moriyama walked into the gym after school, he noticed a very cute girl sitting by herself on the bleachers. She was playing on her phone, but she looked upset, if the frown on her face was anything to go by. Moriyama decided that he would be chivalrous and turn that frown upside down.

After all, he always said that girls looked their best when they're smiling.

So, he strode over to her, turning on his charm and putting on his best smile. "Hey there," he said smoothly, or as smoothly as Moriyama could. He sat down next to girl, who had by now put her phone into her purse and was giving him a curious look.

His gym bag sat on the ground in front of them, the Kaijou Basketball Club logo facing their direction. Girls loved athletes, didn't they? Moriyama had to milk the fact that he was a regular on the team for everything it was worth. "So what brings a pretty girl like you here?" If only his teammates were there, they could've prevented him from saying such a cringe worthy line – actually, no, even if they were here they would've let him say it anyway then make fun of him for it later.

The pretty girl just shrugged. She switched the way her legs were crossed. Moriyama didn't notice that she scooted a bit away from him as she did so. "I'm just waiting for someone," she said finally after realizing that Moriyama was there to stay, unfortunately.

"Oh?" he asked, a hint of surprise in his voice. Could she be waiting for one of the basketball players? But surely he would know if one of his teammates were dating a girl as pretty as the one next to him. "Do you like basketball?" he suddenly asked, changing the subject.

She nodded, a small smile appearing on her face. Moriyama considered his mission to make her smile complete. "I guess so. I don't really know how to play, but I like watching," she said.

That was it! That was his in. He'd tell her that he was a part of the basketball team – and a regular at that – and then she'd fall in love with him and they would live happily ever after. Moriyama was so busy daydreaming that he almost forgot to reply. "Really? How come I never see you cheering on our team at any games then?" He gave her a flirtatious grin. "I surely would've noticed a girl like you in the crowd."

The girl suddenly looked interested in him. "You're a basketball player?" She looked up at him, her eyes shining brightly and excitedly. "So that means you know – Kise!"

He was about to tell her that yes, he did know Kise, and that they were like best friends (not entirely true, but he'd make it true if need be), but she was already halfway across the gym, running towards a certain blond model that had just entered.

"Kise!" Moriyama heard the girl say. She looked up at the tall model in a completely different way than she had with Moriyama. "I've been waiting for you! I've been sitting here by myself and it was so lonely, but I'm glad you're here now!"

Moriyama was sure he had sat there with her the entire time, but apparently he didn't count.

It was an inside joke among Moriyama's friends that if he wasn't a basketball player, he'd be a baseball player, albeit a bad one. The baseball team was too good, and their records were near perfect. They needed someone to come along and mess things up a bit, and since Moriyama was striking out with girls all the time, he might as well have used his talent for a greater good.

Moriyama never found that joke funny.

And yet, there he was, striking out once again, proving to everyone how pathetic he was. Moriyama saw Kise and his fangirl chatting contently, and made a face at the scene. With an annoyed grunt, he picked up his gym bag and walked towards the locker room. He might as well go get ready for practice, there was no reason for him to stay in the gym now.

By the time he reached the door of the locker room, Kise was right behind him, having apparently finished talking with his fan. Kise greeted him, but Moriyama only gave him an irritated look in reply.

"Senpai, are you okay?" Kise asked, suddenly looking concerned. That surely threw Moriyama for a loop, but before he could ask any questions, Kise continued to fret over the older male. "What's wrong? Are you sick, senpai? Do you want me to tell Kasamatsu-senpai that you'll be a few minutes late to practice?" Kise honestly looked genuinely concerned for Moriyama, and that only made Moriyama's annoyance grow.

"You and your damn attractiveness, Kise," he muttered. He pulled the door to the locker room open and stepped inside, Kise hot on his heels.

The younger teen looked confused. "Eh? What do you mean?" He followed Moriyama to his locker and leaned against the one next to it as he asked, "What's wrong?"

"You!" he suddenly shouted, startling everyone in the room. They all turned to look at him, but he didn't seem to notice. Kise just looked scared now. But instead of yelling at him like everyone expected, Moriyama just gave Kise a helpless look. "Can you help me? Teach me how to be as good as you with girls, please!"

The other basketball players around them snickered at the amusing sight. They muttered about how Moriyama finally came to his senses and about how the roles were now switched between Kise and Moriyama. Moriyama ignored every comment. He was serious about this. He was a third year now, and if he wanted a girlfriend quickly, he needed Kise's help.

Thankfully, Kise looked excited about the prospect of teaching Moriyama everything. "Of course, senpai! We can go to the mall this weekend and I can give you a total makeover!" He grabbed the shooting guard into a hug and didn't let go until Moriyama told him he couldn't breathe. "Oh, this will be so much fun!"

The rest of practice was spent with Kise going on and on about how much fun they were going to have together and how exciting it will all be.

Moriyama already started to regret his decision.

Kise ended up bringing the other Kaijou regulars along, something Moriyama wasn't that happy about. With the other three around, he'd never be able to get solid advice from Kise. But Kise had assured him that it'd be fine and that the others might be able to actually give their input on some things too.

It was Saturday night, and the shopping mall they were in was filled to the brim with people. Kise was wearing large shades that covered his face though it was dark out (he said it was to disguise himself from his fans, but judging by how people pointed and whispered at the sight of him, it wasn't a very good disguise). And although Moriyama had teased him about it earlier, he had to admit that he did envy the younger's fashion sense. Even if he did look ridiculous, no one could deny that he always looked flawless.

"So," Kasamatsu drawled, putting his hands in his pockets. He looked around, annoyed that they were in such a crowded place. "Why are we here again?"

"We have to help Moriyama-senpai get girls!" the model said excitedly. Moriyama cringed. Hearing it come out of his junior's mouth like that was really embarrassing. How was Kise, a boy two years younger, so much more confident than him?

Kasamatsu snorted at Kise's reply and Kobori hid his smile. Hayakawa, however, was just as excited as Kise about giving his senpai a makeover.

He knew those three would be of no help, but, Moriyama had no say in the matter. Without a warning, Kise dragged him to the nearest clothing store, the others followed behind them.

"Okay, first rule is: don't do anything Kasamatsu-senpai would do. We all know how good  _he_ is with girls." Kise gave the captain an innocent look.

A visibly flustered Kasamatsu smacked the small forward on the back oh his head. "I just can't talk to girls, okay? That doesn't mean girls don't like me!"

Kise rolled his eyes in a 'right, I'm sure they do' kind of way, and looked ready to make another comment, but Kobori nudged him and he reluctantly moved on.

The brightness in Kise's eyes returned and he sifted through the nearest clothing rack while saying, "Well we can't do much about your style because we have to wear uniforms..." His eyes trailed up and down Moriyama's body and he clicked his tongue in disapproval at the basketball shorts and t-shirt the other had chosen to wear on their outing. "But remind me to give you a style magazine one day."

Moriyama nodded, wishing that he'd brought along a notebook or something to take notes. From that moment on, everything that came out of Kise's mouth was law.

"Next, you should-"

"You should stop using those lame pick up lines of yours," Kasamatsu suddenly said, interrupting Kise. Everyone looked at him, surprised that he was actually trying to help Moriyama. He grumbled a bit when he realized he had everyone's attention. "Everyone knows you're attractive, I'm sure  _you_  know you're attractive, but it's those damn pick up lines you use all the time that drives everyone away."

Moriyama looked offended. "My pick up lines are not lame!" he argued. But before he could defend himself anymore, the others gave him a look that told him to stop while he was ahead. "Fine," he said, crossing his arms. "I won't use them anymore." He made a mental note to hide the list of pick up lines he kept in his gym locker from the others before they found it.

Kise looked satisfied at hearing this, as did Kasamatsu. "Okay, well let's go. We can always buy clothes another time, it's time for makeup tips!"

Before Moriyama could protest – What? Makeup?! He did not agree to this! – Kise grabbed his wrist and pulled him away. Moriyama reached out towards other three expecting for them to help, but all they did was chuckle at him.

Moriyama was left in Kise's hands, now. And that thought alone was truly terrifying.

That Monday, Moriyama stood in front of his mirror with his phone in hand. The night before, Kise had sent him a text with a checklist of all the things he should do before he came to school.

Uniform on with jacket casually slung over his shoulders?  _Check_.

Eyeliner – specifically the brand that Kise endorsed?  _Check._

Hair spiked up to show his forehead (this was Hayakawa's tip, he said that the ladies went crazy over a little forehead showing, to which Kise agreed)?  _Check_.

Pick up lines ripped up and in the trash?  _Unfortunately, check._

Moriyama loosened his tie a little and smiled brightly at his reflection. This would surely do it. This was definitely going to land him a girlfriend.

He left his house and walked towards the school using the model walk Kise had shown him. Today was going to be a good day, he could just feel it.

At the end of the day, Moriyama threw his jacket on the floor of the locker room and ripped his tie off, an annoyed look on his face. It was an interesting day, alright. As soon as he stepped foot into the school, girls flocked to him, but only to take a picture of his new look so they could post it on their social networking accounts and tease him about it. Otherwise, all the pretty girls avoided him all day and they would giggle into their hands if he passed them.

He got worse shit from the boys on the basketball team, though. They laughed at him and took pictures of him, promising to use it as blackmail later on. Kasamatsu had told him that if he embarrassed the team like that again, he'd be kicked off. Kobori had given him a sympathetic look, and Hayakawa just laughed his ass off.

Moriyama didn't even look that different from his usual self, aside from the hair and the makeup, but plain Moriyama was better than model-wannabe Moriyama, apparently. At least plain Moriyama could talk to a girl without her bursting into giggles and running away.

By the time school ended, Moriyama was ready to kill Kise. Fortunately for the first year, they didn't see each other during the school day. If they did, Kasamatsu would be planning Kise's funeral by now.

"How'd it go?" Kise asked as he walked into the locker room. He didn't notice Moriyama's death glare or the other players' taunting laughter. "Did you get a pretty girl's number?"

Moriyama picked up the lone basketball by his feet and threw it at Kise's head. Luckily, the small forward had quick reflexes and he caught it seconds before it made contact with his head. "What was that for?" he asked, eyes widening in shock. "I helped you, why are you being so mean, senpai," he whined, pretending to fake cry.

Moriyama looked around, but unfortunately, he couldn't find another object to throw at the dramatic first year. "You didn't help me," he said, giving Kise another glare. "You ruined everything!"

"How?" Kise honestly had no idea how his foolproof makeover had failed. "Everything I told you to do is what I do!" he said, defending all of his advice. "Except for the hair thing. Do you think maybe that was it?" Kise looked over at Hayakawa accusingly. The second year rolled his eyes and ignored him. "If so, Hayakawa-senpai is to blame."

The shooting guard explained everything, from how girls ran away laughing at the sight of him to how Kasamatsu called him an embarrassment – everyone else defended their captain, saying that Moriyama was, indeed, an embarrassment to them. "My math teacher asked me if there was a problem at home and if that was why I was suddenly acting out!"

Kise seemed to contemplate this news for a minute. His hand was on his chin in a thinking pose. When he finished thinking, his golden eyes lit up and he snapped his fingers, as if he came up with the reason for Moriyama's failure. "I guess it only works on models like me." Kise said it so nonchalantly that Moriyama almost thought he had heard him wrong.

When Kise didn't correct himself, Moriyama's eyes twitched. The locker room fell silent, anticipating Moriyama's reply to Kise's inadvertent insult.

"I hate you."

Well, that was anticlimactic. The rest of the basketball players resumed changing, tuning the arguing pair out.

"Eh? But that's so mean, senpai!"

"Good."

Kise whined again. "You're turning into Kasamatsu-senpai, now! No wonder girls don't like you."

Moriyama promptly kicked Kise.

If Kasamatsu had been there to see it, he'd have been proud.


	4. The Fourth Thing They Ruined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kise and Kasamatsu seemed to have a talent for getting caught in the most compromising of positions.

* * *

**iv. Kise's modeling career**

* * *

"Let's go somewhere this week-

"No," Kasamatsu said simply, not even giving his teammate a chance to complete his sentence. "I don't want to go anywhere with you." Kasamatsu still had awful flashbacks from the last time Kise dragged them all out on a 'fun' outing. He was sure that if he agreed to go again, the situation would only be worse.

Kise pouted at his senpai, and he pulled on Kasamatsu's arms as he whined. "But why not? It'll be fun!"

"That's what you said last time," Kasamatsu said, pushing the clingy kid off. Kise had somehow dragged them all to an amusement park last time. Moriyama ended up puking his guts out, Kobori got food poisoning, and Hayakawa got lost, twice. Kasamatsu had ended up looking after all of them once again. Kise was swarmed by his fans the moment they stepped into the park and was useless.

"But we're not going to a park this time." Kise kept dragging the last syllable of his words out in an attempt to be cute and convincing. Kasamatsu found it to be annoying. "I promise, it'll be different this time!"

Kasamatsu scoffed at the younger boy and stalked out of the locker room, throwing a, "If you can convince the others to go, I'll consider it," over his shoulder before walking out of the room completely. He missed the committed look that appeared on Kise's face. Kasamatsu wasn't worried though. Moriyama was still traumatized from his last outing with Kise, and he had overheard Kobori and Hayakawa make plans to visit one of their grandmothers this weekend. They would never agree to go with Kise.

Unfortunately, he underestimated Kise, something that no one should ever do. Kise somehow managed to bribe all of them to go along with his little plan to hang out that weekend. And since Kasamatsu was a man of his word, he reluctantly agreed to come along.

"I have a bad feeling about this." This was the first sentence out of Kasamatsu's mouth as soon as they stepped foot into the large shopping center. To be truthful, anything that involved the Kaijou members was going to end badly. They all knew that much, yet it never stopped them.

He should've known the model would have wanted to go shopping, what else would he do? At least Kise agreed to pay for all of their food. Moriyama looked ready to bolt the minute they walked towards the mall and only relaxed when he heard that his dinner would be paid for.

"Did we have to go to the same mall as we did last time?" Moriyama asked bitterly. He pulled his hood farther over his head, refusing to look anyone in the eye. "It's giving me flashbacks about that awful makeover you gave me."

Kise threw an arm around Kasamatsu and Moriyama, telling them both to cheer up. "You guys never want to do anything fun with me," he said, grinning brightly down at them. "I'm going to show you how to not be boring!" Kasamatsu scowled up at him and Moriyama ducked away. Apparently, he was done sulking seeing as how a pretty girl just caught his eye and he had run after her.

Kise cringed when he heard his senpai yell some awful pick up line at her, but nudged Kasamatsu and showed him. "See? Even Moriyama-senpai is having fun now. I'm so glad I got him to wear nice clothes," Kise commented, a proud look on his face at Moriyama's outfit of choice. Kasamatsu stayed quiet and tried to get out of Kise's grip, but it ultimately failed and Kasamatsu was left with Kise's arm still on his shoulders. He still had a terrible feeling about how the night was going to play out.

Somewhere not too far away, a camera clicked.

Moriyama came back, a dejected look on his face. "She told me she had a boyfriend..."

Kise tried to cheer him up, saying, "I bet if she didn't have a boyfriend she would have been all over you!" Though all of them knew that wasn't true, they let Moriyama believe it anyway. He's had enough rejection to last a life time.

The shooting guard's proud look returned on his face and he stood up straight, nodding. "Of course she would! I'm Moriyama Yoshitaka!"

Kasamatsu would have kicked him for being so cocky, but before he could, Kise had already started to drag him somewhere. Evidently, the blond model had seen an unoccupied photo booth and decided that he really wanted some cute pictures with all of his senpais.

"I've always wanted to do this," Kise explained as he somehow managed to fit all five of them into the small booth. "Let's take our first picture together as a team!"

"But we already took out picture together with our team..." No one paid any heed to Kobori's logic. Kise wouldn't have listened anyway. Once the first year was set on something, he would accomplish it. At the moment, his goal was to get a decent picture with his favorite teammates.

It was a tight space in the photo booth, definitely not made to fit five rather large basketball players. And while Kise tried to get at least one good picture, the others were just set on trying not to touch each other so much. Being this close wasn't their forte.

In the end, every photo of them was photo bombed by someone. Whether it be Hayakawa picking his nose, Kasamatsu scowling, Moriyama sneezing, or Kobori falling out of the booth, every single picture was ruined. At least Kise looked good. He truly was picture perfect after all.

The five of them stumbled out of the photo booth. It was a real funny sight to anyone who happened to be watching, to see five grown boys coming out of the photo booth like it was a clown car. Kise went to grab their photos, but frowned when he noticed the slot where the pictures came out was empty.

He looked towards the others, but none of them seemed to be holding the photo strips. Even so, he asked just in case. "Did one of you already grab the photos?"

They shook their heads. Kasamatsu came over and looked at the empty photo slot. "Do you think someone took them while we were taking our time coming out of the booth?" He glanced at Moriyama and Hayakawa, both of whom got stuck while trying to get out. They both gave him an innocent smile.

Kise just shrugged, not that perturbed by the missing pictures. "It doesn't matter. They weren't any good, anyway." Moriyama and Hayakawa seemed to take offense to that, loudly proclaiming that their faces made everything better. They were promptly ignored.

Close by, another photo was taken.

Kasamatsu frowned, still worried over someone possibly taking their pictures, but Kise wrapped both of his arms around the captain's neck, successfully distracting him. "Let's go get food!" he said, pushing the Kaijou point guard towards the food court against his will.

"Get off of me, you brat!" he shouted, trying his best to push Kise off of him. Kise just laughed at Kasamatsu's futile efforts. "You've been hanging around Moriyama too much," he finally said after giving up. "You keep touching everyone, just like him." He gave Moriyama a side glance. "Next, you'll be copying his ability to scare girls away with a single look."

"Hey!" Moriyama yelled. "That isn't true!" He tried his best to defend himself, but he only got laughed at. Even Kasamatsu couldn't help but smile.

They bickered their way to the food court gaining weird looks and some squeals of recognition from Kise's fangirls. Luckily, everyone gave him his space. Something he was glad of. Kise loved his fans, and if someone came up to him asking for an autograph or a picture or just to talk, he would happily spend time to talk with them, but on days like this, he enjoyed being left alone to have his privacy with his friends.

"What does everyone want?" he asked when they finally made it to a table. "I can go get it since I'm paying." The others quickly gave him their orders, not holding back since they weren't the ones paying. Although it was a lot, Kise nodded and promised to be back in a few minutes. He shot the other four a smile before turning to leave.

_Click._

As soon as Kise was out of ear shot, Kasamatsu looked at the other three. "Do you guys not feel weird?" They looked up, but all three shook their heads. Kasamatsu looked around, paranoid, before slumping down in his seat. "I- I just feel like we're being watched or something."

Hayakawa quickly looked around, trying to see if he could spot someone looking suspicious, but nothing caught his eyes. "I don't see anything weird. You're just paranoid, senpai."

"Yeah," Moriyama interjected, "it's probably just one Kise's fans watching him. We should be thankful that they're not attacking him this time."

Suddenly, a bunch of high-pitched squealing and giggling from the other side of the food court. Kise was being mobbed by his fans. They thought it was okay now that he wasn't with his friends, and they had their eyes on him the moment he left the other Kaijou players.

Kobori gave Moriyama an exasperated look, as if this was all of his doing. "You jinxed it."

"This isn't my fault," Moriyama said, defending himself. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. Nonetheless, he and the others stood up, getting ready to drag Kise out of the crowd of girls.

It took ten minutes, but somehow they managed to get Kise away from his fangirls. He was laughing and apologizing to his fans the whole time. He felt really bad about having to stop the impromptu fan signing, but the scary look on his captain's face stopped him from doing anything stupid (like continuing to take pictures and sign autographs, something he was seriously considering).

"We're lucky we had Moriyama-senpai with us," Hayakawa said as they sat back down. "His presence drove all the girls away."

Once again, Moriyama was being ragged on. This time, though, instead of replying, Moriyama just shoved a french fry in the second year's mouth, effectively shutting him up.

Seeing this, Kise turned to Kasamatsu, an idea popping into his head. He then exclaimed excitedly, "I want to feed senpai too!"

Kasamatsu started to shout his opposition on the matter, but that was a bad idea. As soon as he opened his mouth, Kise shoved a large spoonful of freezing cold ice cream into it, preventing him from saying anything at all. Kise grinned gleefully and the others just laughed at him. He swallowed the ice cream, trying not to choke on the large mouthful. With a grunt and a glare at the still grinning first year, he grabbed the ice cream cup out of Kise's hand. "I can feed myself," he said, his voice muffled from the spoon he had just put in his mouth.

_Click._

After they finished eating, they walked around the mall a couple of times, fortunately without any interruptions (Kasamatsu made sure of that. His glare was scarier than Moriyama's pick up lines). They stopped once or twice according to Kise, but it was more like they stopped at  _every single store_. At that point, Kasamatsu and the others were just going along with whatever Kise wanted, hoping that the torture would end soon. Unfortunately for the Kaijou captain, that meant trying on everything Kise wanted, including 'cute' couple hats and tees just for his amusement (not to mention the others).

_Click, click, click._

"I didn't know shopping could be so exhausting." Hayakawa lied down on an empty bench, sprawling out in the same way he would after basketball practice was over. "Kise, how do you do this  _and_  practice everyday?"

Kise looked over his shoulder at the drained second year, already halfway to the next store. "Are you guys already tired?" He didn't seem to notice that the other Kaijou regulars looked more worn out now than they would during a game. Shopping was just not something they did usually, unless it was a quick trip for some shoes or sportswear. With a sigh, Kise nodded towards the door. "Sorry about that. Let's go." Kise laughed at the immediately relieved faces that replaced the tired ones.

The Kaijou regulars ran out of the mall as quickly as they could. Kasamatsu made sure that Kise didn't stop at any other store. He had no more patience for the boy's impromptu stops.

Kise spent the ride home talking about all the new things he bought. His clothing talk fell on deaf ears.

The next day Kise's face was plastered all over gossip magazines.

Kobori had been on his morning run when he passed by a newspaper stand. He had almost paid no attention to it, but he saw a familiar blond on the front cover with the words 'KISE RYOUTA: GAY SCANDAL?' over his face and Kobori knew he had to buy it. When he arrived at practice, the magazine was already in his hands, showing the shocking cover to anyone who bothered to look.

"What the hell is this?!" Kise grabbed the magazine, gawking at the fact that his smiling face was staring back at him. "This is a joke, right, senpai?" Kobori shook his head no.

Kise flipped through the pages until he landed on the one with his 'scandal' on it. He quickly skimmed through the article, with Kobori behind him reading over his shoulders. Kasamatsu hadn't arrived yet, Kise was glad, because if he was, he would've thrown a fit.

"What's going on?" Moriyama and Hayakawa slowly walked up to the pair, wondering what all the noise they were making was about. "What happened?" the shooting guard asked.

All Kise had to do was show him the 'evidence' the magazine had collected from yesterday's trip to the mall and Moriyama busted out laughing. "You have a scandal-" he had to stop talking to collect himself and control his laughter, "-with  _Kasamatsu_?" Moriyama's laughter rose to an even louder level than before, this time he was joined by Hayakawa.

"This isn't funny!" Kise cried desperately. His whole career could be trashed, and it was all thanks to some creep who was spying on him and his friends yesterday. "These pictures are all taken out of context." He pointed to the one of him having his arm around Kasamatsu's shoulders. "Moriyama-senpai was on my other side!" Kise said, speaking to Moriyama. It was true, the photo had been cleverly cropped to only show Kise and Kasamatsu, when in reality, Moriyama was right there under Kise's arm.

"Captain's gonna freak when he sees this," Hayakawa said, still laughing. Kise seemed to be the only one worried. After all, it was his  _career_  was on the line.

No one noticed that the person they were speaking about had snuck up on them. "Why am I going to freak out?" he asked, looking around at the guilty looking group. "No wonder my ears were ringing, you guys were talking about me." Kasamatsu looked at them expectantly, nodding at them to hurry and tell him what it was. That was when he noticed the magazine Kise had unsuccessfully tried to hide behind his back. His eyes widened and he grabbed it out of the younger boy's hands.

He flipped through the pages upon pages of pictures frantically, the same way Kise had done when he found out. He knew they shouldn't have gone out. He had a bad feeling about it, and here they were with a scandal to now get rid of. There were tons of pictures of him and Kise in there. Kise smiling at him, Kise feeding him, Kise and him wearing those stupid couple shirts and hats. His face was all over the magazine!

Everyone awaited their captain's reaction. They all knew that he wouldn't take lightly to something like this. He had a reputation to protect, he had  _Kaijou's_  reputation to protect. "Senpai," Kise started to say, gently reaching out towards his fuming captain, "I can fix this. My publicist can fix this. All we have to do is explain that these pictures were taken out of context and falsified. No big deal," he said, laughing nervously as he did so.

Kasamatsu stayed silent, staring at the pictures on the page. Moriyama spoke up, trying to reassure Kasamatsu. "Kise's right. Besides, this is a pretty small magazine publication, no one ever reads it." The others nodded in agreement.

Surprisingly, Kasamatsu didn't explode or kick someone, he didn't even look that mad anymore. "Good," was all he said. "You better fix this quickly, then."

Kise nodded.

"I can't believe they think we're  _dating_ ," Kasamatsu offhandedly said as he handed the magazine back to Kise. "As if I would ever."

Kise looked offended and he frowned. "Wha- Senpai! What's that supposed to mean?" he whined, crying fake tears as he did so. He grabbed Kasamatsu's arm, swinging it back and forth as he asked, "Am I not good enough for you, senpai?"

Turning around and sending a foot to Kise's ass, Kasamatsu relieved himself of all of his anger. He didn't want to show it before, but now the brat just had to go and say something stupid. "What are you talking about? Do you want to be in a scandal with me? I swear to god, Kise, you are so dumb!"

The rest of practice was spent with Kise following Kasamatsu around and asking what was wrong with him and why he wasn't good enough for the point guard. "Senpai, please tell me!"

"Because you're an idiot, that's why!"

Kise sulked in the corner for the remainder of practice. His career was already in shambles, but Kasamatsu just had to go break his poor ego too.


	5. The Fifth Thing They Ruined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brats had started to revolt against their captain.

* * *

**v. Kasamatsu's sanity (and his socks)**   


* * *

There were times when Kasamatsu wished he played for a different basketball team. He liked being captain, he liked playing basketball, he just wished he did both of those things at a school that wasn't overrun by idiots. This was one of those times.

Exhibit A: Kise Ryouta.

Kasamatsu had barely even step foot into the gym when the blond small forward ran up to him with a panicked look in his eyes and a white Kaijou uniform in his hands. Even without asking, Kasamatsu knew that the model did something again. What he did, though, was the question. It was always the question.

He laughed humorlessly when he realized how foolish he was for thinking that practice that day might actually go by without a hitch. Practice never went by without a hitch. He didn't know how he could even hope for something like that. Kise was still standing there and Kasamatsu sighed, knowing he had to deal with his responsibility sooner or later. Never, unfortunately, was not an option.

"What's wrong, Kise?"

That was an invitation for Kise to spill his life story or something, because the talkative first year spent the next five minutes explaining how he was 'just having the worst day' and how 'things weren't going his way'. Kasamatsu tuned most of him out, keeping one ear open to catch any important tidbits that would explain what the problem was. Eventually, Kise held out his uniform and that was when Kasamatsu fully paid attention again. "-and when I came in today I realized that I had left my uniform in my classroom but when I went back to get it, there was a rip in it!" He shoved the uniform into Kasamatsu's face, pointing out the rather large tear running down the side.

Kasamatsu sighed. He was expecting Kise to do something dumb, but not this dumb. "Kise, what the hell. We go those uniforms last week!" The old Kaijou uniforms were a few years old, and they were tattered and dirtied beyond redemption. The school had just finally approved a grant to get new ones. Of  _course_  Kise would be the first one to ruin his. They hadn't even gotten the chance to wear it to any games yet. "Why was it in the classroom in the first place? It should've been in your locker."

"Senpai, you weren't listening to me?" Kasamatsu just gave him an annoyed look and told him to say it again. At this, Kise looked down and muttered something about baseball players and showing off.

Kasamatsu leaned in and lifted Kise's head up. He held his chin and forced the younger boy to look at him. "What was that?" he asked.

Kise averted his eyes the best as he could and mumbled as quietly as possible. "Some baseball players were making fun of me – of us! And they were saying all this mean stuff about how the school doesn't care about the team. So I wanted to prove to them that Kaijou does care about basketball and so I showed them our new uniform. But then I guess I forgot it in the classroom and by the time I came back, someone had ripped it." Kise then grinned, "But hey, the baseball players sure did look jealous of our new uniforms!"

A loud smacking sound was heard next, followed by Kasamatsu calling Kise an idiot under his breath. Kise was left to rub his newly forming bruise on the back of his head while Kasamatsu walked towards the locker room. He seriously hoped there was some aspirin left in his locker. If that was how practice going to start out – with  _that_  much stupidity – he knew he was going to need something to get through the rest of the day.

Before he could pull the door to the locker room open, a bunch of the boys came swarming out, all groaning and some half-dressed. Kasamatsu wondered for a split second if he should just turn around and go home, but he suppressed that thought for now. Instead, he asked a second year what was going on in there that made everyone run out.

"Moriyama-senpai is puking his guts out in there."

Kasamatsu resisted the urge to scream.

He ran in there, and immediately, he was hit with the reason why all of the players had ran out. The smell was awful and the sound of Moriyama retching was starting to make him sick himself. "Moriyama?" he called out, treading slowly towards the bathroom stalls. Kasamatsu saw a figure leaning over the toilet in the last stall and he sighed. "If you were sick you should have just gone home."

The toilet flushed and Moriyama stood up, flashing a weak grin towards his captain. "I'm fine," he said, but the greenish tinge to his skin tone said otherwise. "It's probably just a stomach bug or something, it's okay."

Kasamatsu couldn't believe what he was hearing.  _Just_  a stomach bug? Was this kid crazy? "You're going to pass it to everyone on the team!" he shouted, getting in front of Moriyama to prevent him from returning to practice. "Go home so you don't get everyone else sick."

Moriyama waved him off and pushed him aside. "You worry too much, it'll be fine." Then he walked out.

It took a few seconds, but when Kasamatsu finally regained his senses, he realized that Moriyama never washed his hands. "Moriyama!" he yelled, running after him. But it was already too late. The contagious shooting guard had already touched half the players on the team and many of the basketballs.

Boy, he was a quick worker.

Kasamatsu knew that he should probably expect a bunch of absences next week now that Moriyama decided to infect everyone. He hoped that maybe Moriyama was wrong and it wasn't a stomach bug, but it never was with him. Moriyama always had come down with the most contagious of illnesses.

Kasamatsu grabbed a nearby basketball and headed onto the court, but stopped when the coach raised an eyebrow at him and gestured towards his clothes. When he looked down at himself, he realized why. He was still in his school uniform. Kasamatsu was too busy running around taking care of his teammates and had yet to get changed. To make matters worse, he was the  _last_ one still in his uniform. Which meant he would be running an extra five laps thanks to the rule he implemented last month to prevent Kise from spending too much time changing in the locker room. The rule had now come back to bite him in the butt.

With an annoyed grunt, Kasamatsu turned around to head back into the locker room, but a loud cry stopped him. Pivoting around on his heels, he noticed that a bunch of players were gathered around the basketball hoop on the far side of the court. Kasamatsu just contemplated ignoring whatever it was to go get changed, but he knew that if too many Kaijou players were around one place, trouble was bound to find them. No wonder their practices were always a mess.

Jogging over to that side, he realized that the players weren't gathered around the basket. Instead, they were gathered around the foolish person who had fallen  _under_  the basket.

When he came closer he saw that Hayakawa was sprawled out under the basketball hoop, complaining of a pain in his ankle. He should've known it was Hayakawa. Kasamatsu could recognize those bushy eyebrows from a mile away.

He pushed his way through the group and held out a hand to help the fallen player up. Hayakawa grabbed it and started to get up. A fleeting thought in Kasamatsu's mind told him to just let go, but luckily that thought passed quickly. As he led the power forward to a nearby bench, he asked him what happened.

"I was trying to catch a rebound but then Kise was also trying to catch it and he bumped into me and I fell and I think I fell on my ankle wrong because it really hurts and-" Like always, the second year spoke quickly and animatedly, making it hard to understand what he was trying to say. Kasamatsu got the gist of it though, and sent someone for some ice to put on Hayakawa's ankles.

"Don't do anything else for the day," Kasamatsu ordered. He looked strictly at Hayakawa, who nodded in understanding. Other players around them looked at Kasamatsu strangely. Kasamatsu just seemed so tired and done with life in general. But they all shrugged it off since it couldn't possibly be any of their faults.

Kasamatsu rubbed his temples in a futile attempt to calm his pounding headache before he stood up and headed towards the locker room again. Maybe he could get changed, take an aspirin (or two), and then finally feel better and more energized. For some reason, he just felt so sluggish.

He had barely made it two steps forward when Kobori was right there in front of him, telling him something he couldn't understand because his headache was killing him, and the other members were being too loud, and the coach was blowing his whistle too many times, and-

"Shut up!"

Kasamatsu had finally snapped.

Kobori looked at him in shock, as did everyone else in the gym.

Moriyama was the first to speak up, coming out of nowhere to protect Kobori (not like the bigger teen needed much protecting). "Why are you snapping at him?" Moriyama asked. He put his hands on his hips and looked at Kasamatsu like a mother would while scolding her child. "He didn't do anything wrong."

Moriyama speaking out gave everyone else the courage to say something too. Comments ranging from "You don't need to be so mean, Captain," and "Are you okay, Captain? You seem so uptight lately," were thrown at Kasamatsu from all directions.

His eyes landed on Kobori, who just looked more amused than anything.

"You need to stop yelling at people for no reason," Kise suddenly said. Kasamatsu glared at him, but it was hard considering Kise was partially hidden behind Moriyama in case he needed to make a run for it. "Kobori-senpai wasn't doing anything wrong."

Kasamatsu looked around at the faces of his teammates, all of whom apparently agreed with Moriyama and Kise. His jaw dropped and he was at a loss for words, but not for long though. "What do you mean  _I'm_  the one being mean?" he asked, looking at all of them incredulously. "You all are the ones coming to me with your petty issues. You guys can't ever seem to take care of yourselves, so who has to do it? That's right, me! And taking care of a bunch of brats isn't easy, so don't go pinning this all on me."

"You're being really immature right now," Moriyama stated, giving Kasamatsu a side glance. "There was no need to call us brats."

Kasamatsu looked up at the ceiling and counted to ten, trying to calm himself down. But when he got to five he had enough and just said, "Fine, whatever," and walked away, muttering crazily about how 'he wasn't the immature one' and 'why was everyone ganging up on him'.

The rest of the team just stood there as Kasamatsu stomped his way like a little child towards the locker room.

The Kaijou basketball club members looked around, all asking themselves if their captain had finally lost it. Before any of them could say anything, though, Kasamatsu came running out of the locker room like a madman. He was holding one of his black socks in his hand and was only half-dressed. It was quite funny to the team to see their captain wearing his basketball shorts and white dress shirt together, but no one dared laugh.

"Who. Touched. My. Socks." He enunciated every single word slowly as he scanned the crowd for a guilty face. All he got in return were blank and confused looks. Kasamatsu didn't have time to deal with any pranks right now. His tolerance quota for stupid people was dangerously close to being filled.

Kobori stepped forward, and if Kasamatsu had been thinking clearly, he would've seen the almost smug look on the center's face. "That was what I was trying to tell you, Kasamatsu." Kasamatsu gave him a questioning look and Kobori just put a hand on the captain's shoulder, gently pushing him down onto the bench next to Hayakawa. "You might want to sit down for this."

Moriyama couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "I don't think I've ever seen you standing for so long without your socks, Kasamatsu. Are you sure your legs can support themselves?"

Kasamatsu glared at him, daring Moriyama to say something else. When Moriyama stayed silent, he turned to Kobori. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, I was trying to tell you this before you blew up in my face, but since you didn't listen, I'm sure they're gone now." Kobori rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a little apologetic towards Kasamatsu, but only a little. "I saw someone from Shutoku leaving our gym earlier, and they were holding something that looked like one of your socks..." he trailed off and looked away, at anywhere but Kasamatsu's face.

"What?!" Kasamatsu stood up quickly, his headache pounding louder than before. He ignored it and screamed at Kobori. "Why didn't you stop them? You should've told me-" he ignored Kise pointing out the fact that Kobori  _did_ try to tell him, "-Why did you let them go?!"

Kobori just shrugged. "I tried to stop them, sort of, but they were faster than me. Besides, it was only socks. I didn't want to cause too much trouble. It was probably just a harmless prank."

Hearing Kobori explain didn't make Kasamatsu any less mad. In fact, the captain seemed to be even more angry than before. "What do you mean they're  _only_  socks? They're not  _just_ socks. They're  _my_  socks and I need them to play!"

Everyone looked at their captain, half were amused, while the other half were just scared. "Uh, Kasamatsu-senpai," Kise called his name out, trying to calm him down. He stepped forward and placed a hand on Kasamatsu's shoulder. "If you want, you can borrow my socks. It's not that big of a deal. Like Kobori-senpai said, it was just socks."

Kasamatsu looked down at Kise's Nike socks in disgust. "No, don't even bother. I don't want your socks." He shoved Kise's hand off his shoulder and started to walk away. "Resume practice. I need to go get some socks." And with that, he stalked off, leaving the rest of the team even more confused than they were originally.

After Kasamatsu slammed the gym door close, Moriyama was the first to say something. "Do you think he's gone?"

Kise turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "You just saw him leave."

"No, no," Moriyama clarified, shaking his head. He was still looking at the door Kasamatsu had just walked through. "I meant in the head. Do you think his sanity is gone? Because, I mean, he just freaked out over a pair of socks."

Kise contemplated Moriyama's question. After a minute, he nodded slowly, saying, "Oh, yeah, senpai's sanity was probably gone a long time ago."

No one could deny that statement.

Kasamatsu later returned with a black sock on each leg. He overheard someone questioning his mental state.

Everyone ran an extra ten laps that day.

No one said anything about his sanity again.


	6. And the One Thing They Crushed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kaijou players just loved to bully their unfortunate looking coach.

* * *

**vi. Coach's self-esteem**   


* * *

The moment Kaijou's coach walked into the gym, the basketball players burst out laughing. Takeuchi Genta scowled at all of them and loosened the tie on his neck. He straightened his jacket and ran a hand through his slicked back hair. He felt clean for once and less scruffy, a foreign feeling to him. Clearing his throat, he managed to choke out, "Is everybody ready? The bus is here to take us to the other school."

No one answered him, though. They were all too busy trying to hold in their laughter.

"Coach, why are you wearing that ridiculous outfit?" Moriyama asked through his rather loud snickering. "We're not playing against Touou again."

He gave them all a glare, but that did nothing to stifle the laughter. With an annoyed sigh, he just turned around and walked out of the gym to the bus, not answering Moriyama's question.

The players were confused. Their coach always preached to never try your hardest against weaker opponents. Their game today was against some high school with a newly formed basketball club, and they weren't considered much of a threat. So why did Coach just go all try hard on them?

Nonetheless, they followed their coach to the bus. Coach could put on a suit and tie all he wanted, it wouldn't make him look any better.

The moment they stepped off the bus, all of their questions were answered. In front of them was a very pretty woman. One that looked no older than the players themselves, but she had a clipboard in her hand and a whistle around her neck, so the Kaijou players assumed that she was their opponents' coach. She smiled and welcomed them to the school in dazzling way that only beautiful women can.

Walking up to Kaijou's coach, she extended a hand and gave him a bright smile. "Good luck today!" she said. She then looked behind him to the players of Kaijou. "Be nice to my players today, alright? We're still only amateurs, nothing like the famous Kaijou team." And another lovely eye smile was sent their way.

The Kaijou players swooned – except for Kasamatsu who claimed he left something on the bus and ran away the moment the other coach started to speak. No one missed the pink blush on his face.

"Follow me, boys," she said, interrupting the team's daydreams. With that, she strutted towards the gym, but not before she patted Takeuchi on the arm and praised him for his formal outfit.

All it took was one look at their coach's flustered face and they were on the floor cracking up once again.

"I see why you dressed up today, Coach," Kise said, a small smirk on his lips.

Moriyama walked up beside him. He chuckled and looked down at his coach as he said ,"You've got good taste, but I'm afraid she might be out of your league." Then, as an afterthought, he added, "She might even be out of  _my_ league."

The team rolled their eyes at their overconfident shooting guard. But for once no one said anything about it. They were all too focused on their coach at the moment to call Moriyama out on his overly large ego.

Takeuchi frowned. He should've just played it cool and dressed normally. But he was a man! In his 30's, mind you. He wanted a loving wife that he could come home to. A pretty lady that would cook and enjoy life with him. What was so wrong about dressing up to higher his chances of finding a beautiful woman like that? What right did his players have to judge him for wanting to look presentable to the other gender. Why were they-

He cleared his throat and his mind. This was no time to be thinking about that. He wouldn't give his basketball players the satisfaction of thinking that they were able to mess with him like that. They had a game to win, after all.

With a grunt – the kind that only men in their old age could make – he walked into the gym (according to Kise, he waddled). Kasamatsu had rejoined them, but the faint flush across his cheeks didn't go unnoticed.

"I've seen the pictures, Coach. The ones from back in your national basketball team days. You could probably woo her if you looked like that again." Moriyama said with an impish grin. He just couldn't let the subject go.

Takeuchi ignored him, but didn't deny the fact that he would love to have his figure back from his basketball playing days. He was in his prime back then. He had no idea when he had let himself go, but he did know that he needed to get himself back.

He sat down on the bench and all around him players were stretching and getting pumped up. Usually, they would fill the silence with idle chatter, but this time, the subject of their conversations was  _him_.

"I mean,  _look_  at her." Moriyama gestured over to their opponent's coach with a grand wave of his hand. Then he pointed back towards his own coach with a grimace on his face. "And then look at you." He looked his unamused coach up and down, and with a frown and a shake of his head, said, "Such a pity, Coach. She's such a beautiful woman too..."

Just as Takeuchi opened his mouth to order Moriyama to run around the gym until he puked, Hayakawa came bounding up to him, interrupting him from giving Moriyama his death sentence. "Do you want me to tell her you like her, Coach? Do you? All you have to do is take the opportunity and just go for it, Coach! She looks like a really nice lady, I'm sure she likes you too!" For once, the coach really wished the power forward wasn't so enthusiastic. Before he could say anything, Hayakawa had already ran across the gym to their opponents' side. And going by the giggles from the other team that erupted the moment he said something, Takeuchi knew he was doomed.

With a grunt, he yelled for his power forward to come back to their side. His eyes were narrowed as Hayakawa ran back excitedly. Kaijou's coach was in the middle of deciding whether to kill Hayakawa now, or wait until they got back to the school to do it when Kise interrupted his thoughts with a comment of his own.

"I don't know why you're trying so hard, Coach," he said slowly. His eyes glinted dangerously, glowing with a mischievous aura that always seemed to spell trouble for the person he was speaking to. "A pretty woman like that must have a boyfriend." Kise was smiling pleasantly as he said that, but the Coach knew better than to think that Kise's intentions were anything  _but_  to break down his confidence more than the others already did.

By now he was standing, not bearing to sit anymore due to his growing irritation with his players. Ever since Hayakawa's excursion to the other team's side, their coach hadn't even spared a glance in Kaijou's direction. Needless to say, Takeuchi was disappointed.

"Am I the only one that notices the pretty big ring on her ring finger?" All heads turned to Kobori, who was on the ground still stretching. He was facing the opponent's side, his eyes squinting to get a better look. When he realized that he had gained everyone's attention, he said, "Look at her hand. She has a ring on it." Kobori then looked up at his coach. "Either she's married, or she will be soon."

Takeuchi Genta's heart broke into a million little pieces, along with his self-esteem.

But he composed himself, sort of. To most, he would have looked normal, as if unaffected by the new revelation. But the Kaijou basketball players knew their coach better than that. They could tell that their coach was basically crying on the inside.

That didn't stop them from making more hurtful comments.

"But hey, Coach, at least now you don't have to go through the painful rejection," Moriyama said, laughing at his coach's misfortune. "I'm sure you've been disappointed enough in your life already. I would be too if I looked like you."

Takeuchi scowled at the third year. Moriyama somehow seemed to be extra hurtful today.  _Did you get rejected this week, Moriyama? Is that why you're so bitter?_  That's what he wanted to say, but he was a teacher, a professional that couldn't say things like that no matter how much the other deserved it, so he didn't. Instead, he opted to save  _some_ part of his dignity."You know, I used to have girls pining to go on dates with me-"

"Yeah, like sixty years ago," Moriyama muttered under his breath.

Unfortunately for everyone, Takeuchi had a great sense of hearing."That's it! All you regulars, give me five laps around the gym. Now!"

Moriyama and Kise groaned (they both knew they were the main reason for this punishment), but started to run anyway. It was embarrassing enough that their coach was a love struck fool, but now they were being punished by said fool in front of the other team too. Kobori slowly jogged and Hayakawa started sprinting.

Kasamatsu smirked slightly at the four running Kaijou players and looked up at his coach from his seat on the bench. However, his smirk faltered when he realized that Coach was giving him the same look he had given the other regulars. "Do I have to run too?"

"You're part of the regulars, aren't you?" Takeuchi answered simply. "You better get started, last one to finish has to run another five laps." That was all it took for Kasamatsu to get up and start sprinting, though it didn't stop him from mumbling something about how he didn't even say anything.

Takeuchi's mouth formed a straight thin line and his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. He may have disciplined his bratty players, but the damage was already done.

Kaijou had already crushed the poor coach's self-esteem.


End file.
